Seeing Yourself

Do you ever wonder when you look in the mirror what you would see if you could see yourself as others see you? Would you see your face, or your body, or would you see all of who you are? You are so much more than what you see when you look at the outside. Who you are lives on the inside. Who you are has been wonderfully and miraculously created. There is nothing wrong with you or any part of you. You are designed to be unique, talented, and lovable.
Let this be your affirmation today. I am unique, talented and lovable. Take it from affirmation to declaration. Say it to your family. Email it to your friends. Write it in a journal. Put it on post-it notes and put them where you’ll see them. If you want to go even deeper, say it in front of your mirror. In fact, say it 10 times. Notice how your voice changes as you do. Say it everyday. “You are unique. You are talented. You are lovable.

Do You Need AAA?

“When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you’re sorry for what you’ve said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner (‘From now on, I will…’). And, of course, you stick to that.

This whole AAA thing can take two minutes, but in that time you’ve healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for your future.”

~~Mira Kirshenbaum
Psychotherapist & author of The Weekend Marriage

Virtual Dressing Rooms

Below are cool technology advancements to look for in the shopping future:

1 Mirror, mirror on the wall
Many virtual dressing rooms have “smart” mirrors and 3-D body scanners. They scan your body and voil — you can start trying clothes on without taking any off. Some high-end stores already use this technology, so hurry up the rest of you!

2 Checking out
Oh dear. Is that an employee or a robot? Robots are neat, although job eliminators. You know those self-checkout lines at Safeway? Some retail stores have begun this convenience. Other cool technology allows a smartphone to pay for the purchase.

3 Custom made
Some stores, like Nike, allow you to custom design your purchase. Many stores are moving forward with this trend. Imagine putting that perfect dress that lived in your head for a decade, on your body.

4 QR codes
In Japan (of course), certain buildings have QR codes (quick response) outside that smartphones can read to show the inside happenings of the building.

5 Change your mind
Finding the right size jeans is the biggest pain in the ass. Some fitting rooms have interactive technology where the customer can use a touch-screen in the room to check the store for available sizes and styles. All you do is type in what you need and the salesperson will go fetch.

 

Gratitude

Gratitude is actually the most basic and simple of all positive practices, but most of us want to complicate the simple, we just can’t believe it is that simple. A recent revelation in my summer of gratitude demonstrated this clearly. It seems so basic as to be ridiculous, but really is a culmination of all the listening and letting go that helped me to this place- so here it is,  just start your day knowing that all you have to do that day is enjoy it.  Act as if it is the last day you have to do whatever you do, love whoever you love and just enjoy it. I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but like I said,  we want to complicate the simple.

Said differently but with the same intent, Eric Schmidt, Founder and Chairman of Google was quoted, “Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new.  Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job and your spouse and even your kids.   Even if it feels a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means that you will do something new, meet someone new and make a difference.  Yes lets you stand out in the crowd, be the optimist, see the glass half full, be the one that everyone comes to. Yes keeps us all young.”

Not surprising from a guy who has reinvented how we find and organize the world in ways that no one could have imagined even ten years ago. This is what I am always thinking of about love.  How can I understand love in a way that is new and vital and deep enough in me that I can transform the way other people think about it.   How can I say yes to what is in me and love myself enough to put it out there.

The other day as I was perusing the shelves of our local Borders going out of business sale and I witnessed the dozens, maybe hundreds of other books written about all the same topics that fascinate me, I thought to myself, why am I so intent on adding one more voice. First I found some other author’s names that I wanted to get to know and interview and then I got a little discouraged.

But as I muddled around with the weight of this, I realize that the work is the gift I give myself.   Anything we do with love, whether it be plumbing,  selling, managing, writing, care-taking, done with love actually offers a transmission of goodness that changes us.   Then it multiples in everyone it touches.

How to Predict Divorce in 5 Minutes with 90% Accuracy

Researchers at the University of Washington say they can predict with 90 percent accuracy whether couples will divorce or stay married simply by listening to them talk for a few minutes.

After reviewing data from more than 500 couples in discussion, psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., of the University of Washington’s Relationship Research Institute, and applied mathematicians James Murray and Kristin Swanson have come up with a mathematical model that can predict likelihood of divorce. They dub it the ”Dow Jones Industrial Average for marital conversation.”

“A 5-to-1 ratio of positive comments to negative ones indicates a healthy marriage”, they say. A ratio lower than that suggests trouble ahead.

Check out John Gottman’s video here

How to Have a Healthy Relationship:

Talk more, share more, and be more open with your positive emotions.
Avoid negative topics,
criticize less,
show acknowledgement for each other by praising, thanking and encouraging each other.

25 Questions For God

My mind is swimming with questions since the news of the passing of Robin Williams. So many questions, mostly for God, are marinating in my head.

The home used for the Mork and Mindy TV show is closeby. There is a make-shift memorial out front and a constant arrival daily of all age men and women stopping to pay their respect and talk with others about Robin, what a legend he was, and how much he is loved.

I loved Robin. A part of me related to him, as I am sure many feel. To this day, I still say, “Nanu, nanu”. I still laugh Mork’s signature laugh. I still offer the Ork handshake. I did stop sitting on my head.

One of my favorite quotes by Robin is,

“Be here now or get there later.” 

Robin, may you rest in love and peace and may you always know how very much you are loved.