Is it possible to fall in love over the internet with someone you’ve never met? It is certainly possible to have feelings for someone based on e-mails and phone conversations. But how real is it?
Dating via the internet. Everyone’s doing it. Some are even getting married but on an emotional level, what is happening?
Navigating oneself in the dating world is a challenge. Making the time and putting forth the effort to date isn’t easy.
Meeting over on the internet keeps us from being intimate, keeps us comfortable. We don’t have to become vulnerable over the internet.
When we “find” someone interesting on a dating site, we begin by sending e-mails back and forth. As chemistry develops, it sets up camp in our minds. Our ability to put our feelings into words comes easily, possibly effortless. We are much more open via e-mail than we might be in person. With excitement building, we write our potential new “love” and look forward everyday to receiving their e-mail. As they reveal more and more about themselves, it touches a special place in our hearts. In turn we feel safe to open up and share as well…..and so the dance begins. We’ve create through written words a level of safety which enables us to reveal more and more of who we are.
If we progress to talking on the phone, we develop a bond of sorts, which creates eve more chemistry and more sparks. Life is looking good.
The dialogue continues until the day comes when you decide to meet. Not only is there great anticipation, but we also feel the pressure and expectations. Pressure that the chemistry and passion you have created so far will continue and the expectation that this new found love will feel the same.
Here are 5 tips to help guide you through this stressful situation:
1. Stay realistic. Keep things in perspective, don’t glorify them. You don’t need someone to be happy.
2. Safety over emotions. Amid being nervous and excited, acknowledge the signs that could be red flags. Be aware. Your safety is always more important than what you are feeling for another.
3. Don’t meet too soon. This is a sign this person might be desperate or is not serious about being in committed relationship. Casual dater equals red flag!
4. Be wary of someone who comes and goes in their contact with you. If they email you heavily one week and the next week they are barely there, especially without any explanation, they could be dating someone else. It definitely a warning sign that something else is going on, so be cautious.
5. If you notice a change in their email salutations. If they stop addressing you by name or endearment, or don’t sign their name to their e-mails this is a sign they might be losing interest.
Dating on the internet can be fun and exciting. It can also be dangerous. Your soul mate might be on the other side of the planet or just next door and the only way to know is to get out there and date.
Navigating the dating world may feel like shark fishing in a desert but if you keep your eyes open, trust your intuition, and have an open heart, you are sure to find the love of your life.